The health of your relationship can determine your quality of life.
Good relationships take hard work, and there can be times when conflicts feel nearly impossible to solve. This is why couples therapy can be so helpful.
What is Couples Therapy?
Few things are more impactful on our overall wellbeing than the quality of our relationship with a partner. They tend to be who we spend the most time with, who we develop the most emotional intimacy with, and who we rely on the most heavily for our emotional and practical needs.
This makes it a “high stakes” relationship where the rewards can be great, but the potential for emotional strife is also high. Intimate relationships can bring out insecurities and wounds we may have never uncovered on our own, and they frequently test our ability to resolve conflicts.
A couples therapist can offer an unbiased third-party perspective to help bridge misunderstandings between you and your partner. They can identify relationship-damaging patterns, uncover unexpressed needs, and improve communication.
When Should I Consult a Couple's Therapist?
Like most other types of therapy, there’s no right or wrong time to seek help. Struggles that may seem small to someone else could feel unmanageable to you. You and your partner are truly the only ones who know when it’s time to find support.
That being said, a common pitfall many couples experience is delaying counselling until their issues have already become severe. This makes couples therapy less likely to be able to salvage a relationship if irrevocable damage has already been done.
A few signs your relationship may be drifting towards unhealthy behaviours are rapidly escalating disagreements, frequent arguing (especially over the same topics), feelings of resentment, a lack of trust, betrayal, or chronic disconnection.
Other times it may be particularly beneficial to try couples therapy are when new life situations have begun to negatively affect your relationship. This could be significant events like the death of a loved one, a new job, job loss, moving, marriage, divorce, infertility struggles, or becoming a parent. It’s well-known that difficult circumstances can put added strain on a relationship, but positive changes can sometimes change relationship dynamics and cause a rift between partners as well.
Essentially, the best time to consult a couples therapist is when both you and your partner want to improve your relationship and you are both willing to work together to make that happen.
What Does Couples Therapy Focus On?
There are many types of couples therapy, and each one has a slightly different approach. A few of the more commonly used methods are emotionally focused therapy, the Gottman method, psychodynamic couples therapy, and cognitive behavioural therapy. Couples therapists will often use a combination of techniques based on their personal blend of education and experience, although there are certainly traditionalists who prefer to stick to a single approach.
With all approaches the ultimate goal of couples therapy is determined by the clients rather than the therapist, so the first session or so will center around identifying why the couple is there and what they want to get out of therapy. Their goal could be resolution around a specific issue, a stronger connection, or even an amicable separation.
Most therapeutic strategies emphasize both partners gaining a better understanding of themselves and their significant other before moving into a problem-solving stage. Practical problem-solving could center around enacting positive behaviour changes, improving communication skills, or increasing emotional intimacy.
How Couples Counselling Can Help
Not all relationship issues can be resolved through couples therapy, but many can. Couples seeking support often get stuck in a specific negative pattern of behaviour, so an outside influence can be an excellent way to shake up their relationship habits and incite change.
Couples counselling can help partners express their feelings and discuss issues in a safely mediated environment without it devolving into an unproductive argument. It can also be a gentle way to explore the past and skillfully uncover the root causes of current relationship issues.
Many couples who try couples counselling will have an easier time navigating conflicts, not just during therapy but for years into the future thanks to their newly learned skills. It can also increase mutual respect, intimacy, affection, and overall relationship satisfaction.
Schedule a Free Consultation
Break free from negative patterns and transform your relationship. Schedule a free consultation to see how our couples therapy can help you and your partner grow.